Networking: From Transactional to Genuine Connection

Networking Differently: A Smarter Approach 

Networking is something many people feel they should be doing.

You should meet more people, you should build your network, you should put yourself out there. And yet, when it feels like an obligation, it often becomes transactional, uncomfortable, and ultimately ineffective.

In my recent work, and in a panel discussion for the Institute of Leadership, this question kept coming up. How do we move away from surface-level interactions during networking and towards something more meaningful, more relational, and more impactful?

It’s an important topic because in today’s world, your ability to connect is not only helpful, it is a leadership capability that builds long-term trusts.

Why Connection Matters more than Ever

We are operating in increasingly complex and fragmented environments and eams are spread across locations, cultures, and time zones. Even when you are physically in the same space as others, it is still possible to feel disconnected from each other.

This is why connection sits at the heart of effective leadership.

Your technical expertise will get you so far, but your ability to build trust, create rapport, and develop meaningful relationships is what enables collaboration, engagement, and long-term relationships.

And yet, many people approach networking with a one-channel mindset. They focus on quantity of introductions over quality of conversation, collecting contacts rather than building relationships.

So the question becomes, how can you shift that?

A Simple Framework to Transform your Approach

To move from transactional networking to genuine connection, I want to introduce a simple framework to help you focus on what happens before, during, and after your networking conversations.

Before: Set Your Intention

Most people go to networking events with a functional goal- for example, find a job, meet potential clients, build visibility. 

That is understandable, but it is not enough. Instead, I want you to expand your thinking, so ask yourself:

• What am I genuinely curious about?

• What do I want to learn from others?

• What could I contribute to this conversation?

• How do I want to be known in this circle?

This shift from goal to intention changes your energy completely as it moves you from what you can get to engaging and contributing fully, from networking pressure to curiosity in people.

During: Focus on the Person, Not the Outcome

Walking into a room where you do not know anyone can feel daunting, and that is true no matter how experienced you are. 

But the key is not to focus on what you need to say, but instead on the person in front of you.

Start with curiosity: ask questions, listen and pay attention to their responses, and go beyond job titles and surface-level conversation.

Be generous: offer an idea, a perspective or a recommendation. Even small contributions can change the dynamic of the conversation, and create a sense of common purpose. 

Pay attention to how others are showing up: people will communicate in different ways, according to their behavioural preferences, influenced by their background, culture, and personality. The more aware you are of their preferred communication style, based on observation, the more effectively you can adapt and connect.

And importantly, think about your energy- how do you want people to experience you? People may not remember every detail of what you said, but they will remember how they felt when meeting you.

After: Turn Conversations into Relationships

This is where most networking often falls down. People attend events, have conversations, exchange details, and then nothing happens.

If you want to build genuine relationships, your follow-up matters so reach out and reference your conversation in the connection message. Acknowledge what you found valuable in the chat, and certainly if you offered help, make sure you follow through. If they offered you support, then give them the space to do so, but stay engaged.

And then think longer term- relationships are not built in one interaction, they evolve over time. So, stay in touch, share updates, and close the loop when something has progressed. This is how trust is built and where you move into ongoing support. 

The Real Shift

At its core, this is about changing how you think about networking:

From quantity to quality. From obligation to curiosity. From taking to contributing.

From short-term gain to long-term connection.

When you approach networking in this way, it becomes not only more effective, but more natural and far more aligned with your intentions, and naturally, through trust and relationships, you can achieve your goals too.

Reflection Questions

As you think about your own approach to networking, consider:

• What intention could you set before your next networking conversation?

• How do you want people to experience you when you connect?

• What is one action you can take after your next interaction to build the relationship further?

Next Steps

If this resonates with you, and you want to deepen your ability to connect, in networking and in your team more widely, this is a core part of my work in Global Leadership Communication.

You can explore this further in my book, Become a Global Leader, where I share practical strategies on connection, as part of the fourth and final pillar.