There is a contradiction I see with my work: the people with valuable ideas are often not the loudest voices in the room, in fact, many of them hold back.
Not because they lack expertise, or have nothing valuable to say, but because they are waiting to feel more confident, until they have more data, until they are certain they have got it right.
The challenge is that leadership rarely rewards waiting.
Playing small does not always look small
When you think about playing small, you could imagine somebody who consistently lacks confidence or is junior in their career.
In my experience, it can look very different. For example, I have met experienced professionals who sit quietly in a meeting because of the dominant personalities in the discussion, and their cultural preference is to hear all their perspectives first before contributing.
Or a leader stepping into a broader role, who chooses not to challenge the existing direction of the established Senior Leadership Team.
Or even a talented professional who consistently delivers excellent work, but assumes their work will speak for itself.
On the surface, these behaviours may look reasoned, but underneath, they can stem from the question, ‘Who am I to say something?’
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Why capable people stay silent
In a recent podcast conversation with speaker coach and TEDx speaker, Gill McKay, we explored what it means to find your voice.
One of the most powerful ideas that emerged from our discussion was that many people underestimate the value of their own perspective.
We live and work in environments that move quickly, the meeting schedule is back-to-back, priorities shift, and attention spans are shorter. There is often pressure to find answers quickly and move on.
In these environments, it can feel easier to stay quiet than to risk being wrong.
For some people, cultural expectations play a role. In certain cultures, hierarchy and respect for more senior or even older team members influence when and how people contribute. For others, negative previous experiences, self-doubt or fear of judgement may be the barrier.
Whatever the reason, the outcome is often the same- ideas remain hidden, questions stay below the surface and potential is not visible.
The mindset shift on speaking
One of the concepts Gill shared particularly resonated with me.
She encourages people to stop thinking about speaking as self-promotion and start thinking about it as service.
That is a subtle but powerful shift because many professionals worry that speaking up will make them appear arrogant, attention-seeking or self-important.
But what if sharing your perspective is not about you at all? What if your contribution helps the team avoid a mistake or opens up a better solution?
Seen through that lens, withholding your voice can have consequences too- the conversation becomes narrower, the team misses your perspective, and the organisation loses your valuable ideas.
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Confidence comes after action, not before it
Another misconception I encounter regularly is the belief that confidence comes before action.
In reality, confidence is usually built through taking action first- when you speak and share your voice and messages, your confidence grows through the experience, and the neuroscience supports this. Every time we do something new, we provide evidence to our brains that we are capable of doing it again.
Confidence is not the prerequisite, it is the outcome.
Are you struggling to become more vocal?
Reflection questions
As you think about your own leadership, consider:
- Where might you be holding back an idea, perspective or question that could add value?
- What assumptions are shaping your willingness to contribute?
- How would your behaviour change if you viewed communication as an act of service rather than self-promotion?
Next steps
If this topic resonates, I explore it much more deeply in my podcast conversation with Gill McKay, where we discuss confidence and what it really means to find your voice. Find it here.
And if you would like my support developing your communication confidence, influence and leadership presence, whether you are preparing for promotion or stepping into a broader leadership role, I’d love to help, let’s meet for a discovery call.
Finally, you can explore these themes further in my book, Become a Global Leader, where I share practical strategies to help you communicate with greater confidence, clarity and impact.
